Greater South Asian Group of the Washington DC Region 

Experiences 
 

EXPERIENCE OF BITTONI CHOPRA 

Good morning, everyone. 

My entire family consisting of my husband and two daughters joined the Soka Gakkai in 1997. Prior to that, we were leading a meaningless and hellish life. Meaningless – because we were putting up appearances and attending meaningless parties everyday. Hellish – because on the way back from every party, I was complaining and fighting bitterly with my husband about how little money he was earning, how irresponsible he was, etc. 

I was constantly worrying about my younger daughter who suffered from an incurable health problem, Turner syndrome, in which there is a lack of growth hormones. Her treatment used to cost us Rs. 50,000 per month, which we could ill afford. Her growth was stunted and her brain functions slow. I was certain she would not be able to study beyond class 8. 

It was at this point in time, that the entire family took faith. My immediate focus was to pray sincerely for my younger daughter. It was heartbreaking for me to see her lead such a lonely life, with no friends either in school or the neighbourhood. It was her sincere attitude in faith that really moved us to practice hard, and soon her life became like a magnet, attracting so many friends. But Mrs Chona, the Principal of DPS, was quite firm that my daughter would have to give her 10th and 12th board exam through open school. 

But it was my daughter's determination in faith (along with ours and the Soka family) that she was allowed to sit for her boards and cleared the 12th with 64%. 

From a girl of zero confidence and no friends she has blossomed into a YWD and is studying in the college of her choice, Jesus & Mary College, where a minimum of 76% is required. Through our faith in the Gohonzon, she has achieved the impossible. 

But life at home was still full of blame, bickering, and fighting. Then, in one of the Tuesday morning lectures this line from the Gosho really made me sit up and reflect: "Life is limited, we must not begrudge it. What we should ultimately aspire to is the Buddha land." I kept these words in front of me, and while chanting, I really tried to understand them. 

I threw myself into shakubuku and kosen rufu activities. I sincerely dedicated myself to spread joy and bring happiness to my members. For example, one of the WD has a 15-year-old son who has had very low vision since birth. To read, he has to bend his head till it touches the book on his desk. This posture also gives him severe backache. Having had a daughter with health problem, I could genuinely empathise with the family and together we determined that this boy must clear his 10th board at school, which seemed impossible. We women really encouraged the family and the boy started doing a regular Gongyo with 40 minutes daimoku everyday. The family consulted an eye specialist (also a WD leader) to find out the optimum size of alphabets for the boy to read. Armed with courage after chanting a lot of daimoku, the parents approached the CBSE to make a special question paper with enlarged letters. It was an unheard of request! Just 10 days before the exam, the CBSE agreed, and the boy not only got his papers in an enlarged version but was also given one hour extra to complete his paper. This is the first time such a thing has happened, and it has opened the way for many others suffering from a similar problem. 

Another WD in my neighbourhood has two small children and was widowed at a young age. When she was shakubukued she was always crying and speaking about wanting to die. But we WDs prayed and were determined to bring joy and happiness in her life. So much so, that after her second meeting she never looked back and she has been sharing fresh experiences at every meeting. Her desire of "wanting to die" has changed to "wanting to live." Both her children are actively practicing and today she is a group chief joyfully working for the happiness of others. 

So for the last six years, I had been doing activities unbregrudgingly, chanting abundant daimoku, doing many shakubuku, but I was not doing my own human revolution. Therefore, nothing in my environment was really changing. 

Then, recently my elder daughter (aged 22) started backsliding in faith and missed a few meetings. She also started partying a lot with friends whom we did not approve of. This really shook-up my husband and myself and we immediately sought guidance. We were told, first of all, to create deep respect, understanding, and harmony between the two of us, so that our daughter would look up to us for help in choosing her own life partner. The following guidance from Sensei also made me reflect deeply: "If we only feel that the Gohonzon in the altar is great, and we simply beg for its favour or become dependent upon it as an external object, then no matter how much time we spend chanting before it, we ourselves will not shine. It is by tirelessly polishing our own lives in the midst of our daily affairs, confident that we have in ourselves the same wonderful state of life as the Gohozon embodies, our lives come to shine with good fortune and benefit." 

For the first time, I was really challenged to do my human revolution and work for family harmony. I also prayed single-mindedly for my daughter to have wisdom and to be happy. Within two days of such chanting, my daughter said that she wanted to seek guidance from the YWD chief and she also started chanting an hour everyday. At this point in time, we were preparing for our chapter general meeting and my daughter took part in the jazz dance. She threw herself completely into it, while I threw myself into organizing the dance costumes for the 22 performers. With our focused prayers towards the meeting and daily activities, I could see the results manifesting in my daughter’s life. Her focus changed from meaningless parties to activities in the Gakkai and spending time with the family. Her sincere contribution in the dance also manifested at her work. With experience of just two years her office (which generally gives a raise of ten percent), she received a 75% raise in salary. From 15000 her salary is now 25000. 

My younger daughter, my husband who is a district chief, and I – each of us have just completed a million daimoku campaigns, so quite naturally with higher life condition, there is neither the inclination to complain and fight, nor the time to do so. On looking back, I feel that the joy we tried to impart in our members’ lives has returned in a big way and entered our home. 

The theme for our chapter was "Victory without fail." I am more determined than ever to ensure that each member in my area has a personal victory, and I am especially determined to raise capable woman division and youth division members, so that they can fulfill their missions.